The factors that hinder you from Personal Reconstruction
By Rose Marie Quintos
After an unexpected obstacle, crisis, or catastrophe, we feel overwhelmed, confused, or stuck and have no idea how to move forward.
Are you thinking about how to get back on your feet after a setback? This blog will help you determine what’s stopping you from recovering and how to take the next step to reconstruct your life.
We only have control over how we respond to mishaps and difficulties. Instead of blaming what happened, consider the ‘after’ effect, which is primarily concerned with recovery and has three main goals:
- Understand and assess what took place
- Deal with the problem
- Determine what you can learn from it so that the occurrence does not happen again.
“Honesty is difficult during successes and even more difficult during failures.”
Personal Reconstruction by P. Tarlow, T. Marrs, N.Tarlow,, & E. Leite
Blaming oneself doesn’t solve any issues. It only masks the problem in a way that makes us repeat the same mistakes and learn nothing from them.
BUT WHAT’S STOPPING YOU FROM RECOVERING/ RECONSTRUCTING?
According to the book, Personal Reconstruction, by P. Tarlow, T. Marrs, N.Tarlow,, & E. Leite , the following describes the factors that most often get in the way of honest analysis:
- ISSUES OF GUILT
People are conditioned to feel guilty; it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is wrong; sometimes it motivates someone to do something or take a positive outlook from it. It usually occurs whenever a negative situation arises where a confrontation of guilt occurs.
- Total Denial of Guilt – It is when we tell ourselves it is “not my fault.” A denial is indeed a powerful tool that works against personal reconstruction. By blaming someone or something else, we learn nothing from it and are still stuck in the same crisis.
- Tendency to Over-emphasize Guilt – Some things are out of our control! Not everything wrong that happens is your fault. We need to learn the things that are under our control and aren’t.
- Motivational Guilt – It is either imposed from within or from without and is naturally temporary. Hence, some people use guilt as a motivator to achieve their intention. Once the goal has been reached, the guilt fades away. But once it fails, it turns into anger or a higher level of guilt.
- IDEAS OF NOSTALGIA
Remembering and looking has a significant difference. There’s nothing wrong with longing fondly for a past time or situation. However, too much yearning can be negative by taking away your attention from the present and looking ahead at your future.
“Nostalgia can cause us to look back when we should be looking forward.”
Personal Reconstruction by P. Tarlow, T. Marrs, N.Tarlow,, & E. Leite
Quest Publishing provides worksheets to help you easily get a fresh start! You can start rebuilding your life by taking stock of it with the inventory worksheets. To download the worksheets for FREE, enter the coupon code PRW-1230 (valid until 12/31/22). Completing the worksheets will serve as a roadmap for your ongoing PERSONAL RECONSTRUCTION.
Rose Marie Quintos is a Publishing Assistant and the Marketing Director for Quest Publishing,a division of the Inquesta Corporation. (She can be reached at rquintos@inquesta.com.)
